Let’s Talk About Sex (Drives)!

Remember being 17 and sharing everything with your girlfriends? First kisses, bad dates, fights with your boyfriend? Chances are, you talked about everything- even those
things that boyfriend wouldn’t be too pleased to hear you sharing. Then you finished
school, and you began dating people more seriously. For every guy you went out
with, there was a subsequent conversation with that same best friend, or maybe
a new one, about the date, his appearance and personality, what was wrong with
him, and how far this relationship was going to go. When you got married, she
helped you pick your dress, and probably your lingerie as well. And if you’re
like most women, that is when things started to change. Conversation about sex
and sexuality started to dwindle, and was replaced by the other things that
were prevalent in your life. You can attribute this change to a million
different things, from your focus on balancing your kids and career to the
increased conservatism that comes with age.

Obviously your responsibilities and interests change as you
go through life, and accordingly, so do the topics of conversation that
interest you. But removing sex from the medley of topics that you are
comfortable discussing can inadvertently lead to feelings of alienation if you
ever develop a problem in this facet of your life.

Recent medical studies indicate that up to 1/3 of young to
middle-aged women, and up to ½ of older women experience issues relating to
their libido. The numbers alone demonstrate how pervasive these issues are, but
still it’s something we rarely discuss. Most women don’t talk about low female libido
with their friends, and the few that do discuss it with their doctor only
breach the surface of the issue. That so many of us choose to deal with this alone
could be attributed to a socially-distorted sense of decency. We wouldn’t want
to make anyone uncomfortable by discussing something so personal and so ‘crass.’
But the fact that we don’t talk about it is perpetuating the feelings of worry,
guilt, shame, and isolation that a woman faces when she is dealing with a
low-libido. These feelings can be tied directly to her conception that there is
‘something wrong with her.’ Contrary to this belief, low-libido is a prevalent
issue for more than a significant number of women, and these negative feelings
are a product of the stigma that surrounds a woman’s ‘abnormal’ sex drive. Talking
about issues relating to our sex drives creates a network of support and is
instrumental in getting rid of this unhealthy and unfair repression.

Given the well-established link between sexual function and
overall health, it is important to address issues pertaining to low-libido. It
is difficult, though, to address an issue that is plagued by a social taboo.
The vicious cycle continues when we play by this taboo’s rules and never
address the issue at hand. At femMED, we strongly believe that a woman’s most
important asset is her health, and so it is something that she should nurture
as best she can. One of the first steps in taking care of issues related to
libido involves simply opening up about it. We want to open a dialogue about
libido, and stop the stigma that surrounds it in its tracks. That our libido
level fluctuates throughout our lives is a normal part of being a woman, and so
it is also something that we should be comfortable with. If you are
experiencing a change in your libido, talk about it. You might find the person
you’re opening up to is facing a similar issue. If they’re not, they will know
that there is someone there if and when it becomes a problem that they face.

One of the main benefits of discussing libido-related issues
with other women, other than emotional support, is that we can share our
strategies for dealing with it. Although there is no Viagra for women, there
are a number of things we can do to take our sex drives back into our own
hands. femMED Libido is one of our best selling products, and we have received
an enormous amount of positive feedback from happy women (and their husbands!)
who have used it to reclaim their sex drives. There are a number of other
home-remedies that Kelli Young discusses in this blog post. If you find
any of these suggestions helpful, or if you have one of your own to share with
us, please share it in the comments section- or send it in a private message
through Facebook or our website.

We all know that dealing with body issues we’ve never
experienced before is hard. What’s even harder is experiencing them alone, and
not knowing what to do. In the case of low-libido especially, ignoring and
burying this aspect of being a woman is not healthy. By talking about libido
and making it a viable topic of conversation with your friends or medical
professionals, you can play a part in beating the silence associated with a
very common, very normal problem.

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Changing up Valentine’s Day: Unique Date Ideas

Valentine’s Day falls on a Friday this year, which means you have the whole weekend to celebrate! While going out for dinner is fun, we have come up with a list of 30 unique date ideas so that the occasion stays fresh. Let us know if you try any of these out!

  1. Ice skating.
  2. Wine tasting – many vineyards are affiliated with hotels and bed & breakfasts; see if you can book the whole weekend in wine country!
  3. Bowling.
  4. Trivia Night at your local bar.
  5. Don’t want to spend $300 on hockey tickets?
    Check out what games your local university team is playing.
  6. Go bungee jumping or sky diving.
  7. Go skiing or snowboarding. If you don’t know
    how, take a lesson together!
  8. Couple’s spa.
  9. Cook a fun meal that you wouldn’t normally be bothered to make, e.g. tacos, paella, oysters etc…
  10. Go to the aquarium or zoo.
  11. Play laser tag.
  12. Find a comedy show.
  13. Take a cooking class.
  14. Play mini-golf.
  15. Find some live music in your area.
  16. Book a dinner cruise.
  17. Find an out-of-the-city B&B and spend the weekend relaxing.
  18. Go ice fishing.
  19. Go dog-sledding.
  20. Go beer tasting at your local brewery.
  21. Get dressed up and go to the opera or ballet.
  22. Go hot air-ballooning.
  23. Go snowshoeing or cross country skiing.
  24. Go to New York, or another nearby city you can get away to for two days.
  25. Treat yourself to a “staycation”! If you don’t have the time or money to get out of the city for a whole weekend, book a hotel in your own city for the night.
  26. Bring Paris to your living room and have a picnic at home. Pack red wine, a baguette, and brie!
  27. Catch up on Oscar movies with your favourite foods, a fire, and a blanket.
  28. Go camping (or rent a cabin if it’s too cold) in or near a national park.
  29. Go tobogganing.
  30. Find a local Karaoke bar.
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Excited but not “Excited”: Enhancing Sexual Desire in Time for Valentine’s Day

Welcome February. Characterized by its long, grey days and accompanying cold winds, February doesn’t really leave us with a whole lot to get excited about. It is arguably the most insufferable month to endure, until you remember that smack in the middle of it is Valentine’s Day: the auspicious occasion that allows you to guiltlessly leave the kids at home and your work at the office, and celebrate your relationship.  (I don’t care if it was popularized by Hallmark to sell greeting cards; if it gives me an excuse to eat unlimited chocolate then I’m into it)!

So you’ve booked a babysitter, made the reservations, and have finally dropped those holiday pounds in order to fit back into your sexiest dress (or you haven’t…but you look great all the same). You should be excited, but if you’re one of the 18 million women in North America who suffers from low female libido, you’re probably more anxious than anything else. Valentine’s Day is by nature a day to celebrate relationships, and by extension is just as inherently a day to celebrate sex. If you’re not interested in this integral part of the holiday, then quite frankly, Valentine’s Day sucks. There are dozens of reasons why women lose their sex drive, which include but are not limited to:

  • Perimenopause
  • Menopause
  • Stress
  • Anxiety
  • Loss of confidence
  • Lack of physical exercise
  • Insomnia/fatigue
  • Environmental toxins (smoking, pollution)
  • Depression (and antidepressants)
  • Prescription drugs
  • Relationship issues

Most women who are suffering from low libido are not apathetic. They want to want sex, but they just don’t. Whether this lack of interest in sex is due to psychological, environmental, or physiological factors does not change its repercussions. Low libido can affect a women’s body image, mood, and self-confidence, and can leave us with feelings of disappointment, frustration, and inadequacy. Needless to say, no woman should ever have to struggle with these feelings, and it was with this in mind that femMED created femMED Libido.

There are over 25 FDA-approved treatments for men suffering from issues related to their sex drive, but there is currently very little on the market for women. Obviously medications like Viagra have been extremely successful in revitalizing many men’s sex lives, but most women aren’t looking for an equivalent. While a magic “Viagra for women” pill that you can ingest an hour before sex is an attractive quick-fix, what is more appealing is targeting the core issues affiliated with low libido and implementing a natural solution to improve sex drive.

Women experiencing low-libido are often less easily aroused, less sensitive to touching and stroking, prone to vaginal dryness and psychological discomfort, lack pelvic blood flow, and have difficulty achieving orgasm. The ingredients in femMED Libido work together as sex-drive enhancers and are successful in maintaining and increasing sexual desire, enhancing sexual satisfaction, and enhancing sexual response, thus combatting and often fully alleviating these symptoms. When these symptoms are targeted and relieved by the herbs for female sex drive in femMED Libido, women can start desiring and enjoying their sex lives, which will contribute to their ultimate personal, social, and physical fulfillment.

For many couples, Valentine’s Day is just a “Hallmark holiday,” but for others its importance is rooted in the fact that it is representative of their relationship as a whole. For these latter couples who normally play the grand gesture game, staying home and watching Breaking Bad is indicative of a larger problem. If that problem is female sex drive, then femMED Libido is an effective solution that you can find in the Natural Health or Vitamin section of just about any pharmacy in Canada. Unlike Viagra, it takes between 2-3 weeks of consistent daily use to achieve its best results, and so now is the time to start “warming up your engine” in time for Valentine’s Day (and every day after that). If you’re in the “I-think-Valentine’s-Day-is-a-whole-load-of-commercial-crap-camp,” but also experiencing a low sex-drive, then try femMED Libido so that you can go back to getting the most out of your sex life on any given day. If nothing else, (the desire for and practice of) sex will give you something to do during this long winter month!

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He’s Just Not Up for It Anymore

I stumbled on this article that discusses the sexless marriage and contrary to popular thinking….it is not always the women who isn’t in the mood. Half of the time it is the men. This seems to be a much more common situation than a lot of women and men realize and one that women rarely discuss because of the fear that they will be judged as inadequate.  Two books have been written on this subject and USA Today did an interview with the authors of both books. I have posted the link to that interview here;

What kills sex in a marriage? Look past the stereotypes

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You, Me and a Porn Star Named Christie.

You, Me and a Porn Star Named Christie.

Apparently the most visited sites on the internet are porn sites. Consider this from Internet Filter Review;

Internet Pornography Statistics

Pornographic websites 4.2 million (12% of total websites)

Pornographic pages 420 million

Daily pornographic search engine requests 68 million (25% of total search engine requests)

Daily pornographic emails 2.5 billion (8% of total emails)

Internet users who view porn 42.7%

Men admitting to accessing pornography at work  20%

US adults who regularly visit
Internet pornography websites 40 million

Adults admitting to Internet sexual addiction 10%

Breakdown of male/female visitors
to pornography sites 72% male – 28% female

Adult Internet User Demographics –

Age18-24 13.61%

25-34 19.90%

35-44 25.50%

45-54 20.67%

55+ 20.32%

The use of porn appears to be a large and growing industry with the proliferation and ease of access the web has provided. And many people are struggling with the use of porn by their partners, if they are even are aware of it. 41 percent of surveyed adults admitted they felt less attractive due to their partner’s pornography.  How does all of this affect our relationships? Our desire for our partner? I for one would have a problem if I found out that my husband was spending a lot if time viewing porn. I guess even though I personally do not find porn the least bit interesting, the fact remains that many men and some women do. So how to you negotiate porn use within your relationship? Do you forbid your partner from viewing any porn or do set limits? And when does it become an addiction?

I would love to hear from other women on this subject.

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